To go alongside my recent upload of Ann Moss’ premiere of NERD SONGS, here are the texts that I penned for those songs. To listen to these songs, follow this link: https://kennethfroelich.com/audio/
Enjoy!:
NERD SONGS Texts
I. GUK’S LAMENT
Tragedy! Ill fate!
How could this happen?
Where did I go wrong?
The plan was perfect!
Immaculate. Unassailable.
My plus five demonic battle-axe of cleaving in my hands,
I was invincible.
But luck was cruel.
I rolled a ONE.
The goblin archer rolled a TWENTY.
I collapsed, my dwarven honor was crushed.
My days as a warrior done,
I will spend the rest of my years drinking mead,
Warning young adventures of the perils of
Goblin Arrows.
II. WRONG CASTLE
Is it true? Am I saved?
My loyal servant tells me so!
My hero has slain my captor –
MARIO comes for me!
Oh wonder, oh rapture!
I knew he would triumph!
No mushrooms, nor turtles, could
Stop his victory charge!
I think I hear him now!
He approaches my door!
It opens! And – what’s that now?
He went to the wrong castle???
…Pity.
III. HELLO WORLD
note: the following text paraphrases a working segment of BASIC code – actual code is next to each line
TEN. Goto FORTY. 10 GOTO 40
TWENTY. Print A-String. 20 PRINT A$;
THIRTY. Goto SEVENTY. 30 GOTO 70
FORTY. Let A-String equal “L O Space.” 40 LET A$=”LO ”
FIFTY. Print “H E L.” 50 PRINT “HEL”;
SIXTY. Goto NINETY. 60 GOTO 90
SEVENTY. Print B-String “L D.” 70 PRINT B$;”LD”;
EIGHTY. Goto ONE-HUNDRED TEN. 80 GOTO 110
NINETY. Let B-String equal “W O R.” 90 LET B$=”WOR”
ONE-HUNDRED. Goto TWENTY. 100 GOTO 20
ONE-HUNDRED TEN. End. 110 END
Run. RUN
HELLO WORLD Hello World.
IV. RED SHIRT
This was fate.
My destiny is complete.
I die knowing I played my part.
I am thankful that, as my vision fades,
The last thing I will see is
My beloved red shirt,
Torn asunder from my chest,
Ripped to pieces by
A Klingon’s pet Targ.
V. RAISED IN THE 80s
In my childhood…
I believed in “turtle power,”
A plan always came together,
Raising a sword gave you the power,
Knowing was half the battle,
and there always was more than meets the eye.
Now with a child of my own…
“Turtle power” sadly does not exist,
A plan is hardly foolproof,
Raising a sword will get you arrested,
Knowing is definitely half the battle, if not more,
And while there may be more than meets the eye,
You may not want to know.